Friends and Family,
Almost a full year has passed since I began this blog and almost 7 months since I have written anything. Im sorry. I have no excuses that are worthy enough to write about. After the months of stress, surgery and recovery, it just felt right to not think about the Big C word for awhile.
The long overdue update is as follows:
After completing three rounds of Chemotherapy earlier this year at Northern Inyo Hospital, Mom has continued to get better and is physically strong enough now to go back to work a few days a week. Two weeks ago marked our 2nd CLEAN cat-scan! That is something that was not expected by the doctors and comes as welcome news! As you may know, its finally summer here in Bishop and with last summers events still fresh in our minds, we are looking forward to a summer of fun! Last summer was spent shuttling to doctors offices, driving the freeways of LA, it was time spent in dark, depressing places which can only be looked at now as the summer when Cancer was successful in the battle for supremacy of our souls. This summer is and will be different. This time around, we have the upper hand and are holding tight to this feeling of weightlessness and freedom that two clean cat-scans can give you. With no more surgeries or chemo to occupy our thoughts, the last few months have been spent thinking about Cancer and how it affects not only the person who has been diagnosed, but also the people who are closest to them. I can't speak for everyone in my family, but the last years events have pushed me to reexamine what is truly important in this life. Cancer has pushed me to question my ideas about death and mortality. I have learned that the most precious gift you can give someone is your time. A friend suggested a book to me recently. The book is Refuge, An Unnatural History of Family and Place. In it, the author says this,
"The curse and charisma of cancer: the knowledge that from this day forward, all you have is the day at hand."
The statement is significant because that is all any of us have-the day at hand. So many of us plan for the future, setting goals and time frames for our lives, assuming things will go as planned. I know I have done that. If I have learned anything this past year, it is this-Life is meant to be lived, fully, with your whole heart, knowing that all you really have is today. So, I have let go of assumptions about the future, and I have persuaded my Mother to try to do the same. With each doctors visit and cat scan report, we remind each other to not hold tightly to a specific outcome. We remind each other that tomorrow the sun will rise, just as it did today and we will breathe, just as we did today. Our hope for the future remains rooted in family and the loving relationships we have formed through our lives.
All our love from beautiful Bishop,
Sarah & Cece
